Happiness is a mental disorder and we're supposed to pursue it. Here we thought that a lobotomy was the way to go. Anyway, the declaration of independence was written a few thousand years ago when our country (pre-selected by God - his favorite place) was run by wealthy white men who liked to wear silver wigs. When they said, "all men are created equal" that's just what they meant. No exceptions! Screw poor people, women, minorities, people who can't afford silver wigs, dogs, geriatrics, the handicapped, and everybody not specifically mentioned in the previous paragraph. Thomas Jefferson pushed for this clause but got out-voted. An example of who they had in mind when this was written was Ernest Shackleton.
What's wrong with the picture below?
Yes, you're correct! Very good! Nice work!
I should have been a teacher.
Anyway, how the fuck should I know what your answer was? If your answer was, "The driver of that sailing ship got stuck in a snowbank" then you got it right. We will also accept, "Shackleton was an idiot."
Shackleton was an insane Englishman who previously chased butterflies in the Galapagos islands. He also studied Malaria, Cholera, and Polio. He died of Syphilis. Because he was so wealthy, he had all this spare time on his hands, one day he got bored, and said to his wife - who was having the servants make some toast, "I think I'll lead an expedition to the South Pole and drive my ship into a snowbank and then we can make snow angels."
His wife said, "You better wear a heavy coat. It's pretty cold down there."
So, he put an ad in the local newspaper. It read, "Wanted: Virile men needed for expedition to South Pole. Will probably die a horrible death. Due to tax laws, can only pay 1 pence per day as a contractor - 1099."
Upon his triumphant return that very same newspaper printed, "SHACKLETON RETURNS! NOT EVERY CREWMEMBER DIED!"
What's our point? We forget. Something about a lobotomy. Oh yeah, we want one for Christmas. Or an amputation. Amputees always have a good disposition.
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