This Rare Disease is Amazing!

So, I've been recently (over a year now) diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy.  It's a disease of exclusion, meaning that it's the doctor way of saying, "I don't fucking know.  Have you tried The 700 Club?"  But doctors aren't allowed to say, "I don't know" or they'll be forced to sit at the crappy table at the hospital cafeteria.  And the other doctors will be mean to them, like lowering the tire pressure in the offending doctor's Porsche all the way to the upper twenties.

I wrote all about this here and here.  It's been well over four years ago since I wrote those pieces.  In actuality I can probably trace the start of this thing way back to 07/08 when my alcohol tolerance started changing.

Q: Your tolerance began changing?

A: Didn't I just say that?

Q: You can't answer a question with a question. 

A: It's my fucking blog.  I can do anything I want.  Asshole.

Q: I don't like you. 

A: Opinions vary.  Next questioner.

Q: Your tolerance began changing?

A: Mainly my speech would become slurred way before it should. 

Q: Just how rare are we talking?

A: Fill up the Rose Bowl and besides me there may be a couple of other people there with it.  Even some doctors haven't heard of it and they are omniscient.

Q: So, tell me, what's it like to have a degenerative neurological disorder?

A: Oh it's super-amazing, like bacon-bits on a salad!  Maybe croutons.  Actually, it's like having a malevolent child running through my increasingly useless body, setting fires and plundering the community.  Kind of like that kid in that Twilight Zone episode.