Sports Person of the Year

Below is a picture of some sports equipment, or, jock things, as they are known in the community of jocks.

I have no idea why an umpire's mask is in the picture.  An umpire is a jock with math skills.  At any rate, it doesn't belong.  You don't care!

Anyway, we're here to present the immensely coveted Sports Person of the Year award.  Previous winners include Michael Vick (for kicking a dog the farthest) and Plaxico Burress for his name.  The thing that really impressed our judges was Plaxico shooting himself in the groin.

Without further adieu.  By the way what the hell is an adieu?

"There will be a short adieu in your flight."

"There's going to be an adieu in your surgery.  We can't find the doctor.  He must be on another bender."

But anyway, this year's immensely coveted Sports Person of the Year award goes to Tavoris Cloud.  Mr. Cloud is a professional boxer and according to Wikipedia, he had a "tough childhood."  But who cares.  The main thing is that he's got an incredible name.

First off, what the heck is a Tavoris?  Is it a cough suppressant?  Is it a dinosaur?  Secondly, the cloud is hot right now and we can't think of a better buzzword.