I love the stock market. I manage my own investments and am doing quite well. They're gonna help pay for a Starbuck's Cinnamon Dolce Latte every morning when I'm retired. I can easily spend the whole day watching the symbols, charts, graphs, tickers, trades, and blinking numbers go up, down, sideways, or whatever. I had the same problem when I was a kid when I'd watch game shows like the Price is Right. They had some great blinking lights that always fascinated and obsessed me.
Then I hit puberty and became fascinated by the tits and ass that belonged to the chicks whose job it was to help out Bob Barker by pointing at shit. It was also their job to strip out of their clothes and into bikinis when they gave away a speed boat or a hot tub. Years later, as an adult, I learned that part of their job was to fuck old man Barker. I understand he was quite the prevo.
Anyway, I rarely gamble. I hardly never ever buy lottery tickets. The odds are so terrible and the payout is so low. But I love to gamble in the markets. At least when I put money down on JP Morgan Chase they don't take the entire bet away from me in five minutes if I lose. In the markets they never take it away. I can keep my JPM bet on for twenty minutes or twenty years. Of course I may have nothing left of my bet in twenty minutes or twenty years, but the choice is mine.
I've decided to setup two hypothetical stock portfolios, each one relatively diversified. The first one is my If I Had $42,000 portfolio. This one is a little heavy on the commodities, with oil, gold, and steel exposure, but I like it overall. If you really care then you can go look up the symbols yourself.
This one is my $50,000 conservative old guy portfolio. Each stock pays at least around a 3.5% dividend, with MO at 6.1%. BMY and ED are each over 4.75%.
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