I've been yelling at this stupid tree but it ignores me. Instead it keeps producing acorns. They drop on my awning and make a terrible racket. This noise keeps me awake when I'm trying to sleep late on a weekday morning. Fucking Oak.
Next up is this group of euonymus plants. The landscape guy, Chauncy the gardener, corrals them into a circle around another stupid tree. This stupid tree just sits there all day and does nothing. I've told this tree, over and over, to get a job but it ignores me too. Anyway, fucking stupid tree. Fucking euonymus plants.
This outcropping of wildflowers attracts bees which chase after me. I would pour toxic chemicals in this area but kids play nearby. Fucking wildflowers. Fucking bees. Fucking kids.
These shrubs have always pissed me off. Look at how they mock us, with their perfectly round bodies. Okay, maybe they're not perfect but they still make me angry. They ignore me too. I would yell at the rocks but that is obviously crazy so instead I offer them encouragement, like, "I think you're great!" Shit like that. By the way, fucking stupid fucking shrubbery. You suck, shrubbery!
If you decide to shoot up a local McDonalds over a disfigured mcnugget, I'll understand.
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