Elton John: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road revisited revisited

Today I revisit the examination of the first reexamination of the Sir Elton John classic, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.'  I'm like a dog with a bone on this one.  The main problem is that, once being exposed (like Cholera) to the lyrics, I can't listen to this one anymore.  I want my $1.29 back.

Between all the horny toads hopping around, society's howling dogs, and bizarre talk of plows and farming, this song is permanently ruined.  It appears that Elton would sing anything that Taupin put in front of him.  He could tear a page out of a phone book and Elton would have wrapped a catchy tune around it.

Goodbye yellow brick road
Mr. Nussmeier can be reached at
316-5817
And don't step on these toads

Elton John: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road revisited

Today we re-examine the Sir Elton John classic, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.'  We're having another look because an important element was inadvertently left out.  We're speaking, of course, of the pack of howling dogs of society that lurk on the yellow brick road.

We'd like to know, Mr. Taupin, just what the hell you're talking about?  The yellow brick road is filled with howling dogs?

Do they have rabies?  Elton doesn't warn us.  Maybe we should get a vaccination, just to be safe?

"Stay off that fucking brick road," the good witch says.

"You mean that yellow one?" says Dorothy.

"Yeah, that's the one.  The one with the howling dogs of society."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"You know?"

The good witch puts her hands in her pockets, looks down at the ground, and starts kicking at a spot in the dirt.  She adds, "The dogs?  You know, the dogs of society?"

"Oh that's right!  The dogs of society!  I like dogs!  Have you met Toto?  I keep him in this basket for some reason."

"Just stay off that fucking road.  Be right back - a toad is hopping by.  Never mind guys.  There are no horns on its back.  You were saying?"

Elton John: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Today, we (our expert staff) examine the lyrics to the Sir Elton John classic, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.'

Even though it was written over forty years ago it still has numerous elements that remain pertinent today.

We aren't going to put the lyrics below or Sir Elton's legal team will throw us and our friends/family in a concentration camp.  The cops will be on their side, by the way.

Of course, Bernie Taupin wrote all of Elton's early stuff.  Then he threw the song over the cubicle wall and Elton put it to music.  The result can be a little strange.  For example, right out of the gate, Elton sings about how he "should have stayed on the farm."  Elton, like most of us from the 70s, grew up on a farm in 1936.  FDR was the only president we knew.  The dust bowl, the great depression, and the stock market crash were a recent memory.

Then they give us a break for a second, but like a Jehovah's Witness on a Saturday morning, they jump right back in again like nothing happened.  Taupin writes, and so Elton sings, about "... you can't lock me in your penthouse."  Yeah, we know the feeling!  Incidentally, the toilet runs in our penthouse.  Just jiggle the handle and it should stop.

Then Bernie hits us with this insane ultimatum: "... going back to my plow."  A penthouse or a plow?  Let us think about this one for a second.  Okay, we have an answer!  Since we live in 1936, there are no child labor laws, and the only one who can afford a swanky penthouse is Thurston Howell III, we choose the plow!

But it gets worse.  I guess somebody just put the lyric sheet in front of Elton and he did the song in one take.  But anyway, he sings repeatedly about "... hunting the horny back toad."  Then what do we do with it?  What does one do with a horny back toad?  How does one know the toad is horny?  And what the fuck is a horny back toad?

But it's still a classic.  Just don't read the lyrics to a song you like or you may discover back-breaking child labor.