Elton John: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Today, we (our expert staff) examine the lyrics to the Sir Elton John classic, 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.'

Even though it was written over forty years ago it still has numerous elements that remain pertinent today.

We aren't going to put the lyrics below or Sir Elton's legal team will throw us and our friends/family in a concentration camp.  The cops will be on their side, by the way.

Of course, Bernie Taupin wrote all of Elton's early stuff.  Then he threw the song over the cubicle wall and Elton put it to music.  The result can be a little strange.  For example, right out of the gate, Elton sings about how he "should have stayed on the farm."  Elton, like most of us from the 70s, grew up on a farm in 1936.  FDR was the only president we knew.  The dust bowl, the great depression, and the stock market crash were a recent memory.

Then they give us a break for a second, but like a Jehovah's Witness on a Saturday morning, they jump right back in again like nothing happened.  Taupin writes, and so Elton sings, about "... you can't lock me in your penthouse."  Yeah, we know the feeling!  Incidentally, the toilet runs in our penthouse.  Just jiggle the handle and it should stop.

Then Bernie hits us with this insane ultimatum: "... going back to my plow."  A penthouse or a plow?  Let us think about this one for a second.  Okay, we have an answer!  Since we live in 1936, there are no child labor laws, and the only one who can afford a swanky penthouse is Thurston Howell III, we choose the plow!

But it gets worse.  I guess somebody just put the lyric sheet in front of Elton and he did the song in one take.  But anyway, he sings repeatedly about "... hunting the horny back toad."  Then what do we do with it?  What does one do with a horny back toad?  How does one know the toad is horny?  And what the fuck is a horny back toad?

But it's still a classic.  Just don't read the lyrics to a song you like or you may discover back-breaking child labor.