Contact Us

Just about every company has a website and just about every one of them has a 'Contact Us' page.  I send them my helpful comments.  My messages have gone out to GEICO, Nationwide, and many others, some of which you may not know because the commercials run only on CNBC.  90% of them have serious issues.  Generally, they reply with a "thanks for your input."

I've been at war with Google for some time over their fucked-up Android keyboard.  They have a 'Send Feedback' option on it which I use regularly.  It only takes one person!  I guess it's going to be me.

The Google keyboard is crappy.  Swiftkey has some nice features but I had to disable it because the gesture typing was way too tight.  So, I went back to your keyboard even though it has fundamental flaws (don't you dare tap on the three word menu) that annoy me to no end.  I'm sure your nineteen interviews identified the potential problems with the person managing this project. 

"But they're such a good fit!" 

Since you can't fire this person, I suggest you give them a promotion and put them on a team with other similarly afflicted personnel in order to mitigate the damage.  Call it project 'Bubble Duck' or something.

I've been at war (probably a dozen messages) with Trivago because they keep running the same commercial over and over and over and over and over and over.  It follows me around from channel to channel so I have to hide on the religious channels.  The Trivago guy is worse than the Jehova's Witnesses's'es's'.  Maybe I shouldn't be so dry.  My humor was probably lost on the poor customer service person.

I'm a little unclear just how it works. If only there was a way to educate consumers.

There's no easy way to search Facebook posts, but I found my final plea with Trivago in my Gmail spam folder.

So, you're obviously never, ever, never, never, ever, ever going to stop running that same commercial. You may as well show 30 seconds of a burning pile of money. I give up. You win.

Sometimes of my observations are oblique.  Sent to Ameriprise financial.  A high-up guy actually replied.

Why is Tommy Lee Jones standing on the porch of an abandoned, dilapidated property, surrounded by dead or dying trees? Nobody caught this? Is this the image you want to convey? What's next? Tommy Lee Jones talking about Ameriprise from the ruins of a burned-out neighborhood in Detroit? Maybe TLJ's next commercial can take place in a shuttered factory amongst rats and assorted vermin? Just some ideas.

Sent to Meijer's a thousand years ago.  A Walmart like place in Michigan.  Paraphrased.

... the high ceilings and open floor plan give me panic attacks.

Here's part of an ancient exchange I had with a car dealer.  I used the name 'David,' and put in typos on purpose.

Are you a Christian car dealer? And do you have salesmen that are born again, and accept Jesus? I want my car blessed before taken delivery. Microscopic demons in engine fluids can ruin the car so i want to be sure. Thanks

David, 

Thanks for the email.Our management staff and dealer principle are all Christians, we believe in taking that belief in all aspects of our dealership. The salesperson I have that I would recommend, who is born again, is Lakeith ********. He has excellent customer satisfaction, and is a very good spiritual person.

Sincerely,

*****

What kind of name is LaKeith? sounds Mormon. Found out today my wife is pregnent again with our 8th. Hoping for a boy this time. But thanks I will come here 1st when I can afford it. God Bless - david

That's a Molly Hatchet video.  I wanted a Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track for my birthday but my parental units got me this.  They said, "President Carter said all of us have to sacrifice."  Anyway, I don't know how it got there.  This blog machine has a mind of its own.

That's from a post I deleted because it was stupid.  I don't know what's happening.

This is from my post 'Fantasy Football.'  This blog is apparently broken.

Some guy singing in his kitchen.  Sigh.