Gold Rush S05E01 - a review

Today we have a look at the Discovery channel's show - Gold Rush.  Like every show on the Discovery channel, this one takes place in Alaska.  It follows the story of several people as they mine for gold.  Incidentally, the price of gold has dropped roughly 35% since they started looking for it.  But for some reason they keep looking.  Personally, I wouldn't walk across the room for a pot of gold - it's tacky.

Tony Beets goes shopping for a dredge.  He explains to the dredge salesman that he can only afford $1,000,000.  He says, "Do you have one in a dingy gray-green?  That color really compliments my ruddy complexion.  Oh by the way, I'm going to pull your ******* heart out of your chest and drink out of it like it's a ******* coffee mug."

The Hofman's look for a place to dig a hole - and for hookers.  This is a blatant tie-in to Discovery channel's new show - Alaskan Prostitutes.  Todd Hoffman (on the left) explains that they're looking for footwear, preferably boots.

Here, the Hoffman's meet with Marshall Mathers.  Marshall explains that, "... you can suck my fucking dick ..."  It seemed kind of strange that he would pop up here, but whatever.

Jack Hoffman squeaks something that nobody understands.  We had to go backwards about five times until we got it.  Jack said, "A snake with time saves mine."  Whatever that means.

Here, Parker shakes the hand of some guy in an orange hoodie.  We couldn't think of anything clever to write about this picture.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

"What was that, dad?"

 

"What I mean is that it's better to have a lesser but certain advantage than the possibility of a greater one that may come to nothing.  Know what I'm saying?"

"Thornhill used to be funnier.  Don't you think?"

"I don't ******* know.  I guess you're ******* right, Parker."