JK Rowling

So, the legion of Harry Potter fans got their collective panties on a bunch because of a cryptic tweet by author JK Rowling.

It went something like this, "Will you people get a fucking life?  You're making me crazy.  #getafuckinglifeyoupeoplearemakingmecrazy"

I've written two posts on [Mrs, Miss, Ms] Rowling over the [days, weeks, months, years].  It's rather timely stuff - The Casual Vacancy and Justice For Slytherin.

What the Harry Potter fans have apparently forgotten (it just slipped their minds while they were playing with their Green Lantern toys) is that Daniel Radcliffe is now angrily pointing his magic twig (wand) at his kids and drinking heavily.  So, they'll have to find somebody else to play Harry.  Unless the book is entitled, 'Harry Potter and the Dirty Diapers.'

If another Harry Potter movie makes its way into theaters I'll throw my Arugula salad at the screen and run out to my Prius.

The Casual Vacancy - a book review

I'm thinking of renaming this blog to better represent my current interests.  It's a toss-up between 'Book Corner: Weekly Book Reviews' and 'Fuck You All - Especially Children and People in Wheelchairs.'  Let's try the book review deal, because Mr. Google gets all confused when you type 'people in wheelchairs are stupid fuck these people' into the search box.

Today's book is J.K. Rowling's novel, The Casual Vacancy.  Here's what it looks like.

It's about a woman who used to be a famous bestselling author, but gave it all up to pursue her childhood dream of becoming a slumlord.  Now on to the actual review.

This (above) is an artist's rendering of the prologue.  Okay, I just searched Google images for 'book.'  The prologue is rather profane, but here it is: "Fuck Harry.  I hate him.  You people will buy anything with my name on it.  How about I vomit all over this keyboard?  You'll buy it.  I'm calling it 'Puke.'  Maybe you'll like the final book in the Harry Potter series, tentatively entitled, 'Harry Potter and Ron Weasley Make Passionate Love.'  The publisher is recommending a different title.  They want to call it 'Now My Twig Points At You.'  They say that will make it easier to sell."

Rowling goes on like this for another ten pages.  I found it to be an engaging eleven page rant.  It explained much about the motivations of the characters whom we have yet to meet. 

This (see picture above) is about in the middle.  It's clear that Rowling passed out drunk on the keyboard because we get 24 pages of the letter O.  SPOILER ALERT!  I thought this was an effective way to illustrate why the baby committed suicide. 

This is the end of the book.  Rowling tries to collect the rent from one of her tenants.  "Fuck you, bitch!" are his last words.  She pulls a knife out of her purse and stabs him in the gut, presumably, as a warning to other tenants. 

Some parts of the book seemed rushed, like the auto-asphyxiation chapter, while others plodded along, like the chapter where Rowling bought her first substandard house.  Overall it was a good read and well worth a few hours of my mortality.  I give it 4.59 stars out of 5.  I can't afford to pay an artist to make a star that's 59% colored.