According to this picture above, the baby Jesus only had hay to sleep on. He didn't even have a pillow. But he had a gold colored crown that Joe picked up at a nearby pawn shop for $7.99. I don't know just what the baby Jesus is looking at. It could be a flying saucer.
There aren't many accounts of the unfolding scene at the manger, but one of them suggests cannibalism. The song 'Silent Night' portrays the baby Jesus as being "tender and mild," which can only mean that he was eaten. I bet it was the three wise men who ate him, but we'll never know for certain. Towards the end of the song (nobody ever gets this far) the lyrics suggest that the baby Jesus "tasted like pork."
At any rate, the baby Jesus is honored atop Christmas trees the world over. I recall precious childhood memories of the installation of the baby Jesus ornament.
"Stephen, do you want anymore dirt?" said mom.
"No thanks mom!"
"You better eat all the dirt she put on your plate, you little shit. Dirt doesn't grow on trees you know." said father.
After we finished our dirt it was time for father to install (plug in) the ornament. He would take a big drink out of his can of beer, and in a scene repeated throughout Christian households, the baby Jesus would light up and start spinning.
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