Poetry

Since I'm obviously a talented and accomplished writer, I wanted to find out if I could write poetry too.  As it turns out, I'm a brilliant poet as well.  I'm probably in the top fifty of living poets who have a blog.  Below are some of my latest brilliant pieces.  Some of these are so brilliant that they seem terrible.  It's okay if you mis-read them the first few times.

BTW, you might want to cover little Timmy's eyes - the following poems contain adult language and situations.  Although little Timmy has seen and heard much worse, let's pretend that your parenting skills can make a difference at this late stage.

Poetry

Poems don't need to rhyme

Or have any particular format

Whatsoever!

Like this piece of shit

Apartment

I wish there

Was a window

In this apartment

It's very dark in here

And cold

Adolf & Eva

Hi honey, how was your day?
One of the furnaces broke
What did you do?
We had to shoot people

I bet that was hard on the men
 Yeah, then they ran out of ammo
What did you do?
We buried them alive

I bet that was hard on the men
Then the excavator threw a track
What did you do?
We had to strangle them

One For the Children
Here’s one for you kids, it’s wholesome and fun!
No adult stuff, its recess time, let’s all run!
Bears and birds and balloons and clowns!
Come on Timmy, turn that frown upside down!

Learning is fun, let’s sing a song!
If you can’t sing, just play along!
Before you know it, all of you will be smart!
Come on Timmy, can’t you play your part?

Jenny wants to be an astronaut, Billy a cop!
Lindsay a nurse and Tony will push a mop!
Each of you are special, everyone just pick!
Come on Timmy, why do you look sick?

We all have to fit in, we all have our place!
Tommy wants to spray protesters with mace!
Do as I say, don’t disrupt the rest!
Come on Timmy, why are you such a pest?

So come along now and I won’t tell your mother!
I never had such trouble with your brother!
Don’t be late!  Don’t make a mistake!
Come on Timmy, don’t ruin your fate!

A job, a wife and some kids make a life!
I can’t be any more concise!
I give up, you just don’t pay attention!
Go on Timmy, go to your detention!